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The Hurt Feelings Report form is an unconventional yet intriguing document designed to address emotional grievances in a light-hearted manner. Intended for individuals who feel their feelings have been hurt, this form requires the physical presence of a law enforcement officer for submission. It collects essential data about the individual, affectionately referred to as the "whiner," including their name, age, and the specific nature of their complaint. The form also prompts users to recount the incident in detail, specifying the date, time, and location of the hurtful comments. Furthermore, it encourages the whiner to reflect on their emotional state and the extent of their distress, even humorously asking if they required a tissue for tears. Acknowledging that hurt feelings can be a serious matter, the form also offers a whimsical solution, suggesting the provision of comfort items like a "blankie" or a "binky." Ultimately, while the form is infused with humor, it serves a genuine purpose: to allow individuals to express their emotional discomfort and seek support in a structured way.

Dos and Don'ts

When filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form, consider the following do's and don'ts:

  • Do provide accurate information about the incident and your feelings.
  • Do ensure that the form is submitted to a Law Enforcement Officer directly.
  • Don't exaggerate your feelings or the incident; honesty is crucial.
  • Don't forget to include your name and signature if you want to be identified.

Document Attributes

Fact Name Description
Purpose of the Form This form is designed to help individuals document their hurt feelings and seek sympathy from others.
Governing Laws The form is governed by the Privacy Act of 1974, including relevant sections from 5 USC 301, 10 USC 3013, and other departmental regulations.
Submission Requirement The completed form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer for it to be considered valid.
Voluntary Disclosure While disclosure of information on the form is voluntary, excessive submissions may lead to humorous labeling of the individual.
Support Services The department offers additional support, including the dispatch of a "hugger" or EMS assistance, to address the emotional needs of individuals filing the report.

Key takeaways

Filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form can be a unique experience. Here are some key takeaways to keep in mind:

  • Understand the Purpose: This form is designed to help individuals document their feelings of hurt in a structured manner.
  • Submission Process: The form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer to be considered valid.
  • Personal Information Required: The report asks for basic details such as name, age, and sex of the individual filing the report.
  • Incident Details: Specifics about the incident, including the date, time, and location of the hurtful comments, are essential for a complete report.
  • Sympathy Consideration: The form includes a section to note if anyone was sympathetic during the incident, which may be relevant to the context of the complaint.
  • Injury Assessment: The report prompts the individual to assess the emotional impact of the incident, including whether they experienced permanent feeling damage.
  • Reason for Filing: A variety of reasons for filing the report can be selected, from being thin-skinned to feeling unsupported.
  • Narrative Section: There is a space for individuals to express, in their own words, how their feelings were hurt, encouraging personal reflection.
  • Authentication: The report requires signatures from both the person filing and the individual experiencing hurt feelings, emphasizing accountability.

In summary, while the form may seem humorous or trivial at first glance, it serves a purpose in documenting emotional distress and seeking support. Understanding its structure and intent can lead to a more effective use of the report.

Example - Hurt Feelings Report Form

HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?

 

LEFT

RIGHT

 

BOTH

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?

 

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

YES

NO

MULTIPLE

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

 

 

PART IV - REASON FOR

FILING THIS REPORT

 

 

 

 

 

(Mark all that apply)

 

 

 

I am thin skinned

 

 

The Dept needs to fix my problems

 

Two beers is not enough

 

 

I am a wimp

 

 

My feelings are easily hurt

 

My hands should be in my pockets

 

I have woman / man-like hormones

 

I didn't sign up for this

 

I was not offered a tissue

 

 

I am a crybaby

 

 

I was told that I am not a hero

 

Someone requested a tissue

 

 

I want my mommy

 

 

The weather is too cold

 

All of the above and more

 

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

Detailed Instructions for Writing Hurt Feelings Report

Once you have gathered your thoughts and are ready to express your feelings, it's time to fill out the Hurt Feelings Report form. This process involves detailing your experience in a structured manner. Follow these steps carefully to ensure that your report is complete and clear.

  1. Part I - Administrative Data: Start by filling in your personal details. Provide your name, age, sex, the date of the report, the type of whine used, and the name of the person filling out the form.
  2. Part II - Incident Report: Describe the incident that hurt your feelings. Include the date, time, and location of the hurtful comments. Note if anyone was sympathetic to you, including any paid witnesses. Specify who hurt your feelings and how long you felt the need to whine. Lastly, indicate which feelings were hurt.
  3. Part III - Injury: Circle the answers that apply to your situation. Identify which ear the hurtful words were spoken into and whether there is permanent feeling damage. Indicate if you required a tissue for tears and if this resulted in a traumatic brain injury.
  4. Part IV - Reason for Filing this Report: Mark all reasons that resonate with you. Options include being thin-skinned, needing departmental assistance, or feeling that you are a crybaby.
  5. Narrative: In this section, share your story. Describe how your feelings were hurt in your own words.
  6. Part V - Authentication: Finally, print your name if you wish to be labeled, sign the form, and print your name again as the whiner. Don’t forget to sign again as the whiner.

After completing the form, ensure it is physically handed to a Law Enforcement Officer. This step is crucial for the report to be acknowledged. Remember, expressing your feelings is important, and this process is designed to help you articulate your experience. Support is available, so don’t hesitate to reach out if you need it.

Documents used along the form

The Hurt Feelings Report form serves as a tool for individuals wishing to document their emotional distress in a structured manner. While this form is unique, several other documents often accompany it to facilitate the reporting process and ensure that all relevant information is collected. Below are five commonly used forms and documents that may be utilized alongside the Hurt Feelings Report.

  • Incident Report Form: This form details the specifics of the incident that caused the emotional distress. It typically includes sections for the date, time, location, and a description of the events that transpired. This report helps provide context and clarity to the situation at hand.
  • Witness Statement Form: Individuals who witnessed the incident may be asked to fill out this form. It allows them to provide their account of the events, which can be crucial in corroborating the whiner's experience and understanding the impact of the incident.
  • Emotional Support Request Form: If additional support is needed, this form can be submitted to request assistance from counseling services or other support mechanisms. It outlines the type of support desired and can help connect individuals with resources tailored to their needs.
  • Mobile Home Bill of Sale: This document officially records the transfer of ownership of a mobile home, detailing the sale price and the conditions of the home. It is essential to ensure a clear transaction, and you can find a template for this form at newyorkform.com/free-mobile-home-bill-of-sale-template/.
  • Follow-Up Report Form: After the initial report is filed, a follow-up report may be necessary to assess the outcome of the situation. This form allows individuals to document any ongoing feelings or changes in their emotional state since the incident occurred.
  • Feedback Survey: This document gathers feedback on the reporting process and the support received. It helps organizations improve their response to emotional distress and ensures that individuals feel heard and supported.

Each of these documents plays a vital role in addressing the emotional well-being of individuals who feel their feelings have been hurt. Together, they create a comprehensive approach to understanding and resolving such issues, ensuring that all parties involved are considered and supported.